Cheap, Lazy & Neurotic - Part 2

I hadn't planned on going to the Live Wax Museum because this was Good Friday and for some reason I had the day off but the kids had school, so I was supposed to, you know, tile the bathroom floor that day. But I was feeling pretty darn great because I'd a)dismantled one of the most important rooms in our house and b)returned from an errand on time so I figured I could give myself an hour off to see what this Live Wax Museum was all about. Although the last time I was in a wax museum was on our family trip to California when I was 6 and it gave me the serious heeby jeebies I figured a bunch of 1st graders wouldn't be too scary.

Turns out, every kid in Older Boy's class was a different historical figure like Ben Franklin or Sacagewea or the Statue of Liberty (historical figurine?) and they had all painted backdrops that had a big white button glued to them. Here is OB, guess if you can tell who he is portraying:

OK I gave you a little hint. His backdrop is war, I think. Unfortunately his button was 'broken' so when a museum visitor pressed it George just stood there. After a few more concerted pressings George would cheerfully volunteer to kick the wall as the button was out of order and then he would swing into action:

which went something like this:

[Note: you may need to turn the internet to 11 to hear this but there is something loud at the very end - beware!] The kids all did their spiels in the lunchroom with all the other 1st grade classes and the kindergartners roaming around pressing all the buttons so there was no way to hear what any of the wax museum figures were actually saying.

This seemed like a worthwhile outing and soon we were on our way home and I was planning the next step of the project. I figured I had another hour or so to work since M always took the boys with her when she took the Girl to her dance class. I was rather surprised when, after everyone had snacked up, she and the Girl got in the car and left - by themselves. Seems the boys only went with M because, on all the other Fridays, I was at work and since Daddy was clearly NOT at work today and in fact was messing around doing really cool things ["no you may NOT use the toilet that is sitting in the bathtub. Get out! GET OUT!"] there was no way they were going to boring old dance class.

No problem, I think, we'll all go to the hardware store to get the nails I forgot on my earlier trip to the lumber yard. The boys weren't going for that, either, and now I was seeing my confidence head on down to the poolhall with my wallet in its pocket. Did I mention that its Good Friday and M, being a pastor, has to go to work at 6:00 tonight? Do you hear that bang and the tinkling of broken glass? That was my window of opportunity slamming shut.